How to Improve Communication When Experiencing Social Anxiety
- Compass Counseling Administrator
- Oct 7
- 3 min read
It can be incredibly intimidating walking into a room full of people or having a one-on-one
conversation with a stranger. Social anxiety can arise anywhere, even with trusted friends. You
may feel worried about being judged or embarrassed. Sometimes you just don’t have anything
to say or you may fear confrontation. You can feel like the worst is coming or physically sick and
you can’t pinpoint why. This resource discusses the benefit of working on communication to
reduce anxiety. It will cover tips on body language, open-ended questions, and paraphrasing. A
trained therapist can help you practice communication skills and reduce feelings of anxiety,
boosting your confidence. Compass Counseling and Associates offers compassionate,
individualized care tailored to your unique needs. For more information, please reach out to us
at contact@compasscaa.com or 484-447-7255.
How Can I Work on My Body Language?
Body language sends a nonverbal message to others that can show openness or that a
person is closed-off. It can signal confidence or insecurity, anxiety or ease, and safety or
danger. When having a conversation, face the speaker and keep your body turned in their
direction. According to Van Edwards (2025), the way your feet are positioned is a telling sign
and feet turned outward signals disinterest. Open body posture looks like your arms and legs
are uncrossed and your body is relaxed. This shows that you are inviting and engaged. Nodding
your head shows you are intently listening. Provide eye contact to demonstrate you are
listening. Too much eye contact can come off as intense or aggressive while too little eye
contact comes off as nervous, submissive or untrustworthy (Morin 2020). Notice what signals
the other person’s body language is sending you.
Open-Ended vs. Closed-Ended Questions
Closed-ended questions are questions where the response would be one word, such as
yes or no. Imagine you are asking someone, “did you have a good day?” It can be difficult to
carry on a conversation if their response is simply yes or no. Practice using open-ended
questions starting with the following: “what”, “have you”, “tell me about”, “how”, “why”, or “can
you explain”. Open-ended questions or phrases help to further conversation by allowing the
person to expound on a topic (LaVine 2025). Responses to open-ended questions then provide
more context to respond to. Try to focus on what you want to know about the person across
from you. Having a few topic ideas in mind can help ease the tension as you feel more
prepared. Get to know them better by asking about their passions and experiences. You could
talk about their interests, hobbies, opinions, what they've read or watched, their career, family, travel adventures, and more.
Paraphrasing
Paraphrasing is commonly taught as using someone else’s words and making it your
own. An example of this would be if someone tells you that they just watched the new Fantastic
Four movie. They explain the plot that World Eater consumed Silver Surfer’s planet and made
her his slave to find planets for him. The World Eater said he wouldn’t destroy the planet if Mr.
Fantastic and Sue Storm gave him their baby with superpowers. The World Eater kills Sue
Storm and her baby Franklin brings her back to life. Your response could be something like,
“Okay, so the World Eater eats planets and tries to take their baby, but does not succeed”.
Paraphrasing shows you are listening and comprehending. It encourages the speaker to
continue on with their story.
First Steps to Facing Your Anxiety
Your first step to facing your anxiety and practicing communicating could be making an
effort to have a brief conversation with one person. Try to ask one open-ended question, utilize
nonverbal skills, and paraphrase what they’re saying. Take a small step outside of your comfort
zone. Communication takes practice and over time, you can build confidence in your
communication skills. If you have to give a presentation or speech, practicing in front of the
mirror or close family and friends can help you prepare. Utilizing these basic communication
skills will help you develop into a better communicator.
References
LaVine, R. (2025). How to Ask Open-Ended Questions (& The 150 Best to Ask). Science of
Morin, D. A. (2020). Confident Eye Contact – How Much Is Too Much? How to Keep It? Social
Van Edwards, V. (2025). Feet Behavior – The Untapped Body Language You Should Know.
Science of People. https://www.scienceofpeople.com/feet-body-language/
